a busy week, whew! from food poisoning to snowstorms

I feel terrible to know that I have not written for a while, i love to be the entertainer. but for now i can only recall the events of the past week, and things have definitely been happening....

sunday i awoke to the nausia of bad cheese and sausage which left my head in the toilet about 4 times over the day. i stayed in bed literally all day and thought about how i felt terrible. i hated moving, breathing, being awake. my friend came over to do a french lesson but i turned him towards the living room with his friend so they could practice, and retreated to my horizontal position. I got him to buy me some powerade and i began my slow recovery. i remember little from that day, not more than pain and sleep and powerade. monday i stayed in bed as well, though much improved... I spoke with saji and jessica a lot and played chess. it was nice. pretty much the same thing as sunday with less vomit. tuesday i skipped class and ventured out in the night to take care of some business. i went out and tried to work on my bank account and classes as well as my first real excursion into culture.

i went by the Hot club de Jazz Lyon. It is the oldest jazz club in france. the music was really solid, nothing spectactular, no legends or anything. but the first group was good. the pianist was the oldest and the best. the drummer was the youngest and the worst. actually his movements annoyed me a lot. he was stiff and played a little bit like a rocker. his latin rhymthms were much more solid than his jazz ballad. throughtout the night the groups changed...people in the crowd would take the stage and suddenly my fellow spectator was the one filling my ears with jazz. in total i think in the whole place there were 25 people and at least 9 of them played on stage. i remember the guitarist was really good. he looked like chandler from friends a little dorkier with a moustache and glasses. then horn player looked like jay from say and silent bob and the others, i can't remember their dopelgangers...

the magic of the place was drawn directly from the walls. the entrance was a a indiscreet glass door which led to an abondoned hallway, something in a highschool but very small. that turned to a old cement walkway for about 20 feet with a metal gate to some stays and a metal door saying "lyon jazz club, no noise please" the door was quite intimidating and there were no signs of life in the strange hallway or ancient stone area. i didn't want to interrupt anything, so i looked around. i could hear music coming from somewhere but i didn't know if i was supposed to go upstairs, downstairs, take the elevator or what. eventually i grew some balls and opened the door and to my suprise there were stairs leading down into a old brick area. there was a foyer with a pub and a podium of wood and then a room not much larger than a large living room. everything was very old brick or stone or wood. the main room is like a small cavern with the highest point perhaps 5 feet above my head, and it curved down to eiather side where it was only about 6. there were bleacher like seats installed and abou 6 small round tables, that was it. was more like a cellar than anything else. no windows and no decoration save 4 photos of past acts. on teh stage there was barely enough room for the 3 piece set and the new players would often stand amongst the civilian patrons.

jazz is the greatest form of music. it is the study of good sounds and good rhythm. the meeting of methodic study and persistent deregulation. the bad plays a song with some known melody and progression and the players then take turns improvising and adding their own flavor over the harmonies. it turns these people who sit around for 5 hours a day on an instrument, studying and practising into outgoing and adventuress people. they must push themselves to express new ways and ideas in front of the public in the middle of everything. it is not like soccer where you do what you have to, in music you can do what you want to. your goal is to make your mark and failure is only on you. to be boring or to do something exciting. to make your instrument whine like no others.

the radio stations often have a slogan "i am jazz". well i am jazz. haha

wednesday i had no school and i went to the bank and opened my account finally, despite the now 4 meetings i had to go to. hopefully i will be able to transfer my money while things are still low. it was 1.28 yesterday, the lowest in like 14 months.

at night Muya and his friends took me out to the theater. we didn't pay because Muya has connections. the girl at the ticket place is also the girl who is allowing me to practic on the piano in the morning, starting tomorrow i believe. Veronique i think her name was. anyway the play was mostly silent, the interaction of 3 women clad in identical red dresses and various objects, cigars, coat rack, flower vase. they did everyday things and spoke and at one point simulated the presence of a man with a jacket that float around stage by 2 of the women as if it was a puppet. the girls monolouges were about men and their power, sexual desire, the fire within or anger and confusion. the women at one point simulated pregnancy and then laughed after a faking a birth and resumed to dance around the coat and be cheerful again, jeering the man's presence... it was strange to say the least... and i think it was written by a man.

afterwards we went to elodie's house and had a crepe party. we sat around this hot iron with 6 spots for crepes and cooked and chatted while we all made different crepes wth everything from cheese and meats to sauce to nutella to salmon. it was cool. i feel pretty cool with Muya's people now, but i still can't hold true conversations though i can hold simple ones. it was nice anyway.

the next day was miserable. i had 6 hours of class and i was on the internet with jessica for most of it. i couldn't sleep at all the night before. i tried to sleep at 2:30. fell asleep at 5:30, was back up at 7am, then i fell asleep at 10:30 until 11:30 in which i went to class.

i thought it was tat noon, but it was actually at 1pm. with the extra time i explored the huge strike march outside. the main road south of myappartment was covered with about 20,000 or more peaceful protestersa rallying against the governments inability to create and maintain jobs and salaries for public workers. all of the cities metro was shut down except for 2 lines and anyone trying to leave was pretty much screwed. i was quite amazing because it was so calm. maybe it was the cold keeping people form getting rowdy. people were playing music and carring signs. communists were not pleased either. they closed the main entracne to my school to keep people out. every eating place on the road was full. it was pretty cool and i took a few videos which i will upload later.

class was boring and i couldn't really stay awake. i don't remember much other than thinking the information was too important. my surrealism class is quite inresting and i enjoy it when i can stay awake.

afterwards i had to work on an application for the lead program. it is 2 year program for business students at uga. jessica turned in my transcript. writing ws very difficult and i stayed up all night trying to complete the essay. i slept for about 2 hours that night and it was pretty miserable. my essays were not very good but i hoped to at least inspire an interview where i could prove myself better than the application.

friday i had class at 9am and i went with my laptop intending to finish my essay. my teacher is a very friendly and professional busy woman, though a little strange. she reminded me very much of a doctor i met in tanzania. very smart, and polite, but a little awkward. and her assignments and actions don't always make sense...

anyway, i kept trying to write and i had to finish by the end of the class because i had a flight to london at 2:40 i had to walk to the bus then bus to the airport.
i kept messing up and at one point i erased quite a bit of what i wrote. i ended up finishing around noon-40 and i rememebered i didn't have my passport. which i need to go to london of course,....duh.. i sprinted home. now mind you this is the second night with 2 hours of sleep and this week my stomach was performing mutiny. all day it was gaseous and i felt like an animal was trying to escape. i felt bad for anyone sitting around me.

i attempted a run home, with my bag and hurting stomach. it was not easy. i'm not in my best shape right now either. i got home, tore my room to pieces and found the passport. then i tried to run to the bus. at this point i was worried of missing my flight entirely...i found the bus and the driver pointed to where to buy the ticket, but he did not inform me that he was leaving that moment. so i was back in 2 minutes and the asshole had driven off already. i was very upset with him for the whole remainder of the day... but on the bright side my italian buddy showed up and rode on the next bus with me. his english is so so, much like my french, so we practice. he was telling me about the police situation. it sounds frightening. there are now police on many street corners that just stand there and they were all black. it is like a fascist state again. he said the youth hate it and the old people like it. sounds about right...

i got to the airport at about 2:05. 5 minutes after the gate was going to close. i sprinted through the airport and to the easyjet desk. of course they had shut check in but with a walkie talkie call, they allowed me through because i had only a carry on...thank god.

i feel asleep instantly on the flight.

i arrived in london and had to take another small bus into town. by the way all the outside aiport travel has amount to almost 40-50 bucks this trip. it kind of sucks balls. i can't take these hits. next time i might just take the train because this is quite ridiculous.

once in london i followed saji's instructinos and found his station where he met me, the second time i've seen him in 7 months. it was his birthday so there was a big night planned. we chilled for a moment and i had instruction to pick up our friend melanie who was coming in from paris to celebrate as well. i was so tired and hungry and sick at this point i didn't care what happened really. i tried my hardest to follow saji's instruction but i forgot to take melanie back to the appartment to drop off her bag and forgot to get her a metro card. but, in my defense, i waited for 1 hour outside for her in the 30 degree weather because she took a long time to get in. she wasn't the culprit but the cold was freezing brain cells.

i took melanie to the bus stop and we got up with saji through the bus line he had directed me on.

we went to the university pub, the universities have pubs here and pretty much everywhere but the US. not really strange to me, much more logical really. anyway we hung out and I met some of saji's international friends. an emory girl on who was amazing horse rider apparently, and natalie, and french girl who was saji's good friend. i also met max and andi from emory and UGA. they were nice guys. we went to about 2 more pubs and i got pretty drunk. i hate to admit this because i am in all ways against drinking beyond reasonable nature, but under order of my best friend i had no choice. i had about 6 drinks throughout the night. i met many more people, mostly girls. saji and i make better friends with girls usually. it was fun. and cold and we got some food on the way as well. i felt bad that i hadnt planned on this night better so i could have cash and bu saji more than a couple drinks.

i was victim of alcohol induced amnesia for about 30 minutes once we returned home. it was 6 am and i began writing jessica an email and continued to fall asleep at the end. the next morning i found it and was a little suprised.

for those of you that don't know. this condition, often called "blacking out" comes when the brain loses the ability to transfer short-term memory into long-term memory. you can't remember past 2 minutes, though you operate normally. very frightening for anyone in a situation that could have any dangerous consequences. what are you to know when you do somethign and you can't remember why you did it, or how. only what others report to you. perhaps you had an inspriation, perhaps you became angry, or scared. but you affect other people and are affected, but in the end you don't know how are why. all you have is a couple sentences from a friend or an email to tell you who you were or are, but that is not enough.

the frightenting part is how it happens and how you can't predict it. you can only be extremely cautious not to drink to a level or with a speed that will result. i've never experienced this before but now i see the immense danger and complexity of this amnesia.

it is even more dangerous because in your drunken state, your decisino making is already altered, so now where you might defend a decision with the statement, well was drunk so that is why you did it, becasue you rememeber your illogical thought process and can identify the mistakes and where e you ignored your feelings or the truth, now you cannot know how much was you being drunk and how much was you being yourself. i've done 2 things i regret drunk and i know what i was thinking and i know why i regret doing them. i am lucky..

ive decided that if i could take away one thing from man kind it woudl alcohol. perhaps less children would be born and less people would meet eachother at first. but evetually we would all man up and just be honest with eachtoher and we find other reasons to hang out. somethings about muslim society are very amazing, particularly their lack or use of the substance.

saturday we chilled and ate and we went out to a music club and a dance club. we saw some of the centers of london and we met with friend british/american friend george who grew up in atlanta. it was a fun night. i drank very little.

sunday saji and i woke up and we walked around london, i saw big ben and parliment and some other great structures. it was snowing and very sunny at the same time. we watched a soccer game in a pub and chilled.

at night it was about 3-5 inches of snow and it was apparenlty a ridiculous site in london. much like atlanta, a lot of snow is very rare. we met natalie at the LSE dorms and partook in some pizza and pretended we were going to watch the super bowl. we chilled for about 45 minutes and then we went for a walk along the river. teh snow was quite strong and blowing in our faces, but the view was eerily beautiful. the fog blocked out anything in the distance and the whitness covered all surfaces making the simple london bridge in to a strange passage way of dreams. the lighst in the distance and the slience of hte snow along with teh old buildings sometimes made it seem like we were transported to some early18th century square. i took a lot of pictures.

through facebook mega jones, our friend of our earlier youth contacted us. she is working in london after having graduated from oberln, where my sister went to school. apparentyl she told me this, but of course i forgot. she was coming into town to hangout, but we couldn't reach her until we were back at our own station. but then the snow was so strong we turned back to make sure she was safe and new how to get home. we jumped on another bus back and on the ride we found out that all buses were on the verge of clsoing down. we found megan back near the bridge and walked got the last bus for half a mile, then they dumped us all out on the street. us savvy americans, the lost chinese students, the pissed of tired workers, and the young business couples. no metro running and the roads nearng impassable. we tranched home and I made some phone calls. i slept and awoke to find megan was gone back to her neck of the woods.

monday morning i found the i had missed my plane already, mistaking 0705 for a pm instead of an am. here of course, 7:05p is wrtten 19:05. so it was a pretty dumb mistake. lucky for me the flight was cancelle due to weather. so me and saji chilled and chilled some more. we walked around to get some pub food, my treat, seeing as i had royally f-ed up getting a cake on kirsten's accord. saji had spent a lot of money to keep me happy and we were both in the hole this weekend, so why not a good meal??

we got back home and i took a nap, and got my ticket for this morning.

so today, is tuesday. i walked to the train station at 3:30am only to find the train to teh airport was not running save from victoria. i was at london bridge so me and 3 africans i met split the taxi (my idea) to victoria to avoid risk of no more buses running or getting lost or what have. it was 4 20 per person and i paid the full balance. in the station we had 15 minutes to get tickets and I allowed the women to by my ticket--which was free for her because the 4th ticket is free--rather than pay me the full amount fo 12:60 she owed me. this saved me 3.60 pounds and allowed me to get on the train without withdrawing money because i was about 30 cents short to begin with.

on the train i slept for 20 minutes and spole briefly with the man i rode in the taxi with about france in french. i understood about 40%. i think he had an african accent..i don't know.

upon arrival at the aiport, i got my boarding pass in time and went to the gates, only to find the flight was cancelled. i feel like harry potter trying to get to hogwarts when dobby was f-ing everything up. (tw the was there is a fake 9 3/4s stop at the train station with a fake trolley going into the wall and you can pretend to run through it and take pictures)

so we were taken by the security back to the entrance of the airport where i transferred now for the second time to a new flight, but this time at 5:50 (written now as 17:40). so i have been in the airport for about 10 hours, most of which i slept on a wooden bench. i awoke to move into the departure area where i now stand and have now spent close to 45 minutes writing all this stuff....

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well folks what to report.

london is a crazy place. the kids are wearing very fashion known to man and there are people crowding the streets from every corner of the world. it is the most expensive place i've every been relative to the dollar but it also has the greatest selectino of serices it seems like. the kids seem like little punks though. i can see a lot of clock work orange stuff going on. one group of kdis was crowding an exit of the metro on their bikes, they looked up to no good but me and saji passed without problem. there was some random kids in the street throwing snowballs at a family loading their car. i can see people just being fed up with the mischeif and stuff.

it was nice to see saji. though this weekend has killed me. the ticket was okay, but the traveling and the metro and the eating as hit me for about 150 bucks. way over budget. but i am going to make up for it by not going to the grocery store this week and by not doing out at all.

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i saw an ad in the metro for the northern lights. this has convinced me i may try to go to norway at some point. i would love to see these lights in my lifetime so perhaps i can get up there with saji next month or something. i don't know...

anywnay. i'm tired and am going to find some water. i am looking forward to being home, running, eating a lot and watching heroes. tomorrow i have no class so i will probably try to go a free musuem or something.

this trip as given me a break from my french life and reminded me what i want to accomplish. time is short. only a few more months and i may not be in europe for several years. i need to prioritize and actually study french instead of just perform it. i need to be more organized.

hopefully tomorrow i can play piano and get my bank card. i need to review for school and start getting my online courses in order.

i want to work out no matter how i feel. before i wasn't willing to do this. but now i am. i know it will suck and i will freeze and i migh tbe sick. i want to back in shape and i want to get strong. it is just about doing it. after this week of no sleep and so much waiting i know i have the patience and will power to run everyday again. i've done it before... i just need to balance it with bike riding so i don't hurt my feet any more.

godo bye for now.

jessica i love you like the movies
family miss home cooked meals and atlanta excursions.
dennis i miss athens adventures
liz, dennis, all you guys, i'll call you
ariel i will call you.

everyone give love to jessica just because i said so.

peace peace and peaces.

don't worry i'm still alive

I'm not going to write a whole entry now, but I am going to write down some highlights to remember later or that you can ask about for me

-got a velov
-got food poisoning
-went to hot jazz club de lyon
-getting a bank account
-went out with AIESEC Friends George and the kazaks
-played poker and sucked
-vegas party
-new budget
-traveling plans
-leaving trash on tables
-my french is getting better but i have yet to open a book to study it
-new strategies for life here
-going to visit saji this weekend and we forced melanie weniger to come also but she isn't happy about it and I think muya is coming too
-my computer is a part of me now
- can't rememtber how to say sister in french no matter how hard a try
-the plan to see every museum in lyon
-things i just might buy
-how much i love jessica
-obamba
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media additions

This is me, zuzana (Czech), and Raouf (Tunisian/French) chilling at the party.



This is the city center and the Wheel of Nations I want to take Jessica on



This is a room with 33 people in it trying to socialize




This is the street 2 blocks from my house at dusk



These are picks of my decorations with all free advertisements plus some photos. Makes the room a little more suitable I think.





here is a video at a party. not very interesting. and don't worry at one point it looks like a dude is throwing a girl down, they are just playing, so don't get freaked out.

Nothing to report sir

Sooo lately has gotten into a rhythm, but maybe not one I would like to continue. I mean so far i've inpregnated three women and been arrested twice and accidentally hit two dogs.

JUST KIDDING.

i haven't don't most of those things..

JUST KIDDING

I haven't done any of those things...

No really the things i have been doing have been a lot more acceptable and not so frightening.

On thursday I finally bought civil liability insurance so now if i accidently break someone's nose i don't have to pay them anything. It is for sports...

this allowed me to finally acquire my student card, which is essentially key to being a real person on campus.
though as an international student, i probably won't take advantage of all the amazing perks.

now i use the internet of course, and rent books, and i can access the sports arenas and gyms, which is excellent. now i can maintain my amazing bod. or at least my amazing ego

thursday night i went running, or at least tried, i had just eaten and it usually isn't a problem.. i don't know why it was this time, bad luck suppose. anyway, i ran like only 20 minutes or so, then got ready to go to the international student party mixer. it was a 30 minute walk. when i got there this 7 foot tall guy was at the door and would let me in, nor did he really try to explain why i couldn't go in. i had a ticket. i think i twas because there were too many people. i wasn't in the mood to argue and waiting usually solves most problems (at least minor ones) so I did. eventually i realized i could go in, but i needed to be more proactive about showing him my ticket. anyway, blackenstein let me by. but much to my dismay, the party was not as impressive as the doorman. I walked in to find a lots of loud music, and sexy international youths consuming large amounts of alcohol and partaking in a ritualistic commonly known as "grinding".

Anyway, I had maybe 2 drinks and tried to find some non-highly intoxicated people to talk to. It was hard but i persevered for about an hour and a half. I enjoyed seeing people, but I was not too interested in 6 euro drinks and girls who aren't named jessica ruth caldas. i decided to go home early so I could stay up way too late by myself rather than with everyone else.

on the way home i saw a dead man being scooped up out the street by an ambulance. I think it was a motorcycle crash, for some reason this has happened to me before, but always late at night. I suppose it is a warning. but i still believe that you can be extremely safe on a motorcycle with the right training and attitude. actually statistically riding between 3 and 6 am is the safest time and least chance of accidents, unless you are drunk of course.

anyway, strangely enough, this site did not bother me as much as the drunk girls in the bar who seemed liked they probably weren't going to make good decisions that night. i suppose I have come used to people having a limited time on this planet, but I am not comfortable with people's confusion when it comes to love and relationships. or maybe it is simply because I know the girls and i didn't know the dude. I'm sure if it were reverse it would have been a lot more painful.

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Friday

I went to school and I don't remember anything special. At night there was a party at my neighbors house. They are hip hopsters and skater punks. There were musicians and DJs and druggies, and some really nice people to.

I had to speak a lot of french and as usual, the drunker the french people were, the more eager there were to interact with me. thank god for that. I think without alcohol no foreigner would ever be accepted...

I really enjoyed hanging out with Max and some of his friends. it is always fun to try to speak french with people who are patient. the best part of the night is a cultural note. The french dudes like to dance around like cowboy s and say something that sounds like "Wannigan, hana, frannagan" it is there impersonation of english, despite the fact that they mostly speak english. It is like the equivalent when an American pretends to be French and laughs that nasally big laugh "HOUGH HOUGH HOUGH". completely ridiculous and inaccurate, but funny to watch.

I left that party early as well.

Saturday we went to Jason's one room party. there are like 30 of us in this one little dorm room with a bed a table. it is ridiculous. I went with Raouf and Jamie and her friend. by the way Raouf showed me the most ingenious piece of soccer comedy i have ever seen. His friend ducks below the camera and tosses a soccer ball up and down meanwhile Raouf dances about, pretending to be the source of the balls movement. He at one points does a push up and it appears that the ball bounces off his butt. not impossible, but it was too flippantly done to actually be him, and the ball moves in a delayed rhythm with his movements. it's great, true work of genius.

Today i stayed in my room almost all day. it was wonderful. just chatted with jess and watched movies, cleaned up and ate a lot. I managed to not go grocery shopping, which is financially awesome, but i missed one minor detail, i have nothing to eat tomorrow. i shouldn't be so obsessed with only shopping one mondays.

Also, i learned a lot about museums today, a lot are free or really cheap. i've found my new way to avoid social interaction!

And i decided i'm going to cover my wall in tourist brochures, they are all very cool looking, and i cannot waset money on posters, but i also hate white walls.

I am being lazy with this one, so i'm going to bed before it becomes like a Bush speech.
i'll put some photos up soon.

NICK

monday plus tuesday equals wednesday

so it's almost wed. it's slowed down a bit, made bit of a rhythm but i've been told to not feel like my life is ruined if i have a slow day, it happens even in foreign countries. i understand that so, je m'en bats les couilles (that is my new favorite french phrase and it translates to "i don't give a s***" though it literally means I hit my balls. isn't that great? hahahaha

anyway, monday i went to intro to french culture and civilization, aka old women answering questions about france. mildly interesting except i was falling asleep. at night i had french class for 3 hours. I think I am learning my limits of focus. I do not like sitting in one place for 3 hours. it hurts my soul. i try to pay attention, but i just end up thinking about other stuff in english...

the night got more interesting about oh, say, 11 pm. when nottre vosines (neighbors) game over for a little game we call Poker. we played texas hold em for about 3 hours and drank whiskey and it was loads of fun. at first i had to reminded of the rules and i was simply losing money for a few rounds. but i started to work my magic early on, proclaiming immense victory when i had simply nothing going for me. that's how you do it, bye the way. most people you just have to mix them up early own. be confident as you are losing, pretend to be losing when you think you are going to when. then do some random stuff in the middle. just don't align your emotions with your cards, that way they can't judge what you have. everyone was very easy to read when they had something good. it was funny because max would always get serious but also funny when we was doing well, and Muya would get quiet. the other guy didn't really care, so he often bluffed, but then I just only went against him when i had something really good.

the most fun in poker is when you know you are going to win, but you have to convince the other guy they have a chance so they will spend more money. you pretend to be unsure or hesitant, but really you are just acting. of course when i won, everyone was like "you just got lucky". i would say i didn't just get lucky, i used my luck well. haha.

anyway, i won like every big hand from there on out and the neighbors loved me.

after the game we were a little intoxicated... Muya is a painter and he has many portraits and we started enacting seens of famous people meeting by using the paintings as masks. aren't we cool? I was zidane (see profile picture) And I also met Obama in the living room (see facebook pictures). By the way if you actually go to facebook to see these pictures, you are probably a little too into this blog and should get help.
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so yes, the long of the short is, i get drunk on mondays here. why, because i like to play poker with frenchmen...
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i don't remember important happening on tuesday. it doesn't mean nothing important happened, just nothing i remember. I think the most interesting thing was that I went running at night and froze to death. While I am here I walk very quickly. many of you may know be to be a slow walker, but here I walk as if something is nipping at my ass, and quite literally the cold is nipping at my ass. and other parts of me as well. And boy to my feet hurt. walking so much and running, my only form of transportation. my ass is going to get real tight!
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wed. i brought some international students over to watch a french movie called Brice de NIce. It is about the funniest dumbest thing i've ever seen. sometimes you think the producers must have had in mind that they would appeal mainly to pot heads. this movie if full of bright colors, strange dance sequences, silly one liners, and no plot. the main character is a surfer in the city of nice that has no waves. but he lives the surf life and is ultra cool. Is closet is like Dougs, as in it has only one outfit 20 times in it. He "chops" people down with insults and then moves is arm like a long diagonal chop and says "cassé" which is like "hit" but i think it is used like chop. anyway me and the others who watched can't really stop saying it.

here is an old preview from the moive on you tube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UZiwtxKZg8&feature=related

.....

anyway, french class is going well, they gave us a ton of good material. verbs and such. apparently there are like several hundred verbs or something. i don't french is weird. it is like drunk spanish. hahahahha.

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so i've been thinking a lot, i know it's not a good idea, but i've come across a few little things.

so here are some habits i've picked up in france

1)speaking in french on a daily basis (obviously)
2)being prepared to wait inordinate amounts of time for any service, or to buy anything
3) walking everywhere (i haven't done anything but walk for 2 weeks but 2 times when i had to take a train and in a car)
4) I eat Nutella every 4 hours.
5) I eat bread every 4 hours
6) I eat yogurt every 4 hours.
7) I am on the computer like 4 hours a day, writing in this goddamn blog and talking to people who pretend to love me. just kidding.
8) I don't speak for the majority of everyday.
9) I am okay with being in 25 degree whether
10) I wear multiple layers of pants always
.....

anyway as far as intelligent thoughts... well i have some good ones but they will have to wait until later. be warned ye or little intellect. The entry will probably be more "thoughts" than actual "facts" .

So guess what I can say now and really mean it . "pardon my french" because it sucks so bad.

au revoir mes amis. nous parlerons demain.

love to my family,
love to saji and nick and dennis
ultra love to jessica.
and most importantly
love to my self.

tu as un bon week-end, n'est pas?

so update for the past few days.

friday I slept until, oh, I don't know, like 4pm. why did I do this? because I am really really lazy sometimes. I skipped some sort of french culture and civilization thingy. oops. but i hate waking up sometimes, especially by accident. I set my alarm on pm instead of AM. oops.

so i got out of bed and to start the evening off right, i went running. I ran, for those of you who want to look at a map, all the way down the Rhone river to the Parc Tete d'or (head of gold) these things you can see in the pictures below which I stole from google. they are obviously not current seeing as it is winter and there is little green about this time.

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when I got home I found that our christmas party was almost on its way. Margo was here, a chef in training, and she was quite kind to me. I had some eggs, hoping I wasn't being rude, but it was 7pm and I hadn't eaten. I also met two other friends, Coco (a guy with a nickname) is was very kind and nice, he actually brought me about 7 dvds to watch in french because Muya told him how often I do that. I average a movie a day here I think...
And I changed and showed and after a quick rest, it was party time. I wrapped Muya's gifts which were 3 small cooking books from the Virgin super store. the long of the short of it is there were eventually 14 frenchmen/women at our apartment and we were having dish after dish and wine and wine and I understood like 8% of what happened around me. Elodie and Margo were very nice to me, letting me practice my garbled french. laughing along with me and speaking in french and english. i sat next to another french men who i never introduced myself to, but who seemed content to never speak to me. i suppose when you speak like a 4 year old not many people are interested in talking to you, except for nice girls and fun-loving dudes--people who would also enjoy playing with a 4 year old.

either way, it was very fun, filling, and interesting.
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bottom line- most important thing I learned is that when you enter a room, no matter how small the room is, no matter what time in the party, no matter how many people, every person who enters must shake the hand of every man if they are a man and kiss the cheeks of every girl in the room. and I mean EVERY. if you are girl you do only cheek kissing. I suppose girls get away with one advantage, never having to guess the gender of anyone ever, since the kiss regardless, though they also have to kiss the many bearded men that they meet. This ritual inevitably leads to awkward balancing, shuffling and long drawn out entrances, though it ensures that you have a basic introduction to every person. of course in a truly gigantic party, you shake and kiss people only that you are introduced to, previously acquainted with, or friends of. i think this ritual is also one of those things people come to love about this country and miss the most. I know I will miss all the excessive kissing and hand shaking. it's just so damn proper.

(p.s. for those men coming here, you never shake with a glove on your hand, that is rude. you must remove the glove to properly shake the hands of another.)

so the party went well, i put on the music for most of it upon self invitation, i had little else to do, but the comptuer was situated on the other side of the table with a very narrow space to pass behind people to reach it, so every time a changed the music it became a game of weighing whether i was more embarrassed by the poor choice of music or by getting up and shuffling behind everyone and then returning to my place silently and to silence...

it was a christmas party so I played Vince Guraldi Christmas CD, big mistake. when a choir song came on the world was not happy.

i stuck thereafter to brazilian, jazz and the police.

every time i volunteer to DJ in my life I quickly remember why I seldom do so, that being that my musical taste are, although highly developed, certainly not in line with common interests... i guess geniuses are always lonely...

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Saturday

I woke up at 7:30 after sleeping for like 4 hours to meet Raouf for a soccer tournament. un tornoi. he picked me and Heddy up in the car and we drove down to what was a small town. There is a limited amount of suburbs here and mostly country and city, much like all of europe. basically, outside of 20 miles from the city center we were in farmland. this is definitely not the case in Atlanta...

are team was basically the Regular guys. It was a free Futsala tournament for teams of 5 indoors. it is not like indoor soccer because the ball is like normal ball but heavier. There are out of bounds, but no throw ins, just kick ins. The goals are smaller, and there are only 5 people. We played Raouf, Heddy, me, Nicolas, and two frenchmen who I never actually met. I was very tired but I enjoyed talking to Heddy and Nicolas quite a bit. Apparently I managed a pretty good impression though I felt like quite the asshole being so quite. I guess my standards are very high.

There were 3 matches for each team. the others all had fancy labeled shirts and "strategies". Our shirts were labeled with a number in back, but otherwise were plain white. I would not say I played terribly, but I didn't play amazing. I think doing okay for that group (all soccer hoodlums and people who play a lot) was fine with me. The futsala atmosphere was strange, and my team was all new acquaintances. It was also very intimidating of course. I pulled a few nice cuts and stepthroughs around some players, but I never got a chance to shoot. The ball is much heavier so you have to hit it harder all the time. I think it is meant to slow down in the hair as not to kill anyone because it is so hard still. By the end of our first 12 minute match my lungs were burning and I coughed a lot. THe brisk cold winter air was leaking into the old gym. we lost 5-0 4-0 and 3-0. So we improved. If anyone has seen dodge ball, we were the protagonist's team...

I did take a few shots on goal and found if I wasn't intimidating by the young soccer Bruce Lees, the brazilian all stars, the earringed and chained hoodlums, and the thick necked rugby looking dudes, i could shoot pretty well. Still i didn't know what people were yelling so it was quite confusing when people talked to me. A smile and a nod will get you through a lot of conversations I've learned....

We were there until about 3pm and all quite ashamed though still quite positive. Raouf dropped Heddy off by his house in the small town and drove me back home. Meanwhile I learned quite a bit of French. That morning, Raouf actually told me he was impressed with my French!

Apparently the traffic jams... embouteillages... are pretty odd sights downtown by the school, but we found one!

I got home and napped and made some phone calls.

i woke up and there was a party for the international english speakers at some apartment. Luckily I had started a facebook group for the students at my program and 15 had joined, including one young Alexander of australia who was hosting the party. He had posted his address, though not his telephone number. I walked to the place, and found where 88 rue de villon should have a been and stood dumb founded looking at 80 and the 90 repeatedly and a big blank building inbetween, not knowing which of the 5 possible adresses inbetween in represented. I knew that they were supposed to go down town to bars by 9 so I decided to wait until at least 9:15 to catch someone exiting or entering who knew what was happening. I had walked for 20 minutes to get there so I wasn't going to give up easily.

To not my surprise I head three girls speaking the English language finally and upon announcing the program name "SELF" was recognized no longer as a creeper standing on the street corner but a welcomed colleague. They had the same problem and another one, they had the number but no phone credit. I provided the phone credit, they the number, and voila! We had a call to Alex himself and and entrance to the party.

The party was a single small dorm room crammed with about 30 people and 25 nations. i stole the only chair available and proceeded to enjoy myself. I spoke first with my accomplices Yurena, and Tatiana of German/Russian descent, mostly about how the slash got into that description. Apparently the German heritage is very respected even to 200 years back.

I also spoke with several others, Jet of Dallas and Laury (a guy) of FInland, Genisha of Sri Lanka and many others from a mixed background. I enjoyed speaking with Susanna of Slovakia who had bad english but superior French. We spoke in our relative weak tounges and laughed at our failures. Eventually we left the room for the outside world and every street corner we turned we became more seperated. By the time we were at the boats I had met several spanish speakers and we had lost about 60% of the group. I rode the metro finally but I still haven't not paid. Everyone was rushing in and my spaniard friend offered to let me pass in just behind her so I could keep up. I didn't see her after the train either. But i did speak a lot of confused spanish french. I've had trouble keeping in mind the differences between CON and AVEC which are with in the two, and others things like mas and plus which both me more in those languages. The complex words don't escape me. My tongue also jumps from english to french to spanish interpretations of words. it is very hard.

The boats on the river are actually mostly Clubs and Bars and we entered one called Siruis. We went downstairs and danced until I got really bored of it and wanted to call jessica. luckily home is very close and walked briskly in the cold.

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Sunday

today I woke up late, made so phone calls, and had to head out to my French practice group organized by Raouf. It is comprised of Taiwanese Elyse, Raouf, Luca of Slovakia and another young lady who was there with Luca. We just talked about some verbs and talked in French. My head was quite out of it, I had a slight hangover and was tired. But i managed alright.

Then Elyse, Raouf, and I headed to Mcdonalds, which is an acceptable hang out spot here. It is much nicer than the others of course and the employees are young students. It is kind of hip and it tastes pretty good. THe menu is very different but so far I've only experienced the 1 Euro cheeseburger.

Then I walked home and commenced to sit on my computer until now. I am beat from the weekend and I watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang in french and swtiched to english when I got interested.

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So i have practiced a lot of french. I have what one seems to say, their foot in the door. It is honestly thanks to AIESEC here and my venture to the first meeting last monday. I am pleased with my decision to pursue contacting them and happy to have met someone as kind as Raouf. We will see what other people I am able to befriend..

as of now I am in many future talks with myself and jessica and majors and graduation and whatever. not fun. and the question of money and everything. very hard. though lucky webcams allow me to feel sometimes not so far.

saji has returned to london and rachel to spain so the others in my situation are here and maybe jessica and I will feel like we are not alone in this again.

i'm hungry and wish I had a baguette. tomorrow we have three hours of class and I need to pursue choosing more courses and deciding my graduation time line and whatnot. a lot to think about.

peace, i have more pictures coming.

lesson for the day. we are all united by the human condition and people aren't that different. love isn't rare but maybe a good relationship is. it's hard to always be strong and right, and impossible to not be scared but it is our hope and will power that separates us.

quick notes

sooo, will be a boring entry, don't even read it, seriously, go do something else... now.

Today we took French placement exam, I got placed 4 out 5 (5 highest) so pretty good. Mind you these are the students who dont' take french classes, so the level isn't as if some are near fluency. Afterwards I walked around with my friend Jamie as we searched for a cell phone and a gift for Moya. Tomorrow is Secret Santa party. I probably won't be able to talk to anyone so I'll dip out after a while, or knows... Saturday early I am going to a soccer tournament in the South of Lyon with Raouf. Then Saturday night the kids from my program are having a party. Sunday, I have French lessons with Raouf. So busy weekend ahead.

The phone and sim card were 19 euros. the phone was free so I got it. The charger for my phone is another 20 euros so I might just keep this really crappy phone. I walked around everywhere with Jamie, she's my guru since she's been here 1 semester already. The city is so wonderful, and very flat I realized. A lot of people have roller blades.

SO INTERESTING THING I SEE ON THE STREET #1

there was a man walking around with a medium sized black house cat on his shoulder. The cat was just bouncing along as he walked. I have no idea why. It was very cool. I am jealous. I want an attack cat/parrot thing. Maybe I'll be super cool and get a snake or a bat or something.

I made my budget tonight as I watched/listened to Moulin Rouge, Chicago, Lion King, and America History X. Yes i've been at my computer for a long time, and I fast forward through the songs.

here is a looksy a my budget if you care. I've etched out a bit of private info of course.




okay night, peace and love.

Cocoon Stage - GO!

Bonsoir mes amis!

So tonight is wed going into thursday....The past few days I have entered into what I call the Cocoon stage. I've completely vulnerable Caterpillar and entered the growth stage Cocoon (Weeble, for those of you are really cool). I am building growing, preparing, and otherwise heading towards my beautiful butterfly stage from which I will dutifully and daintily fly home. Hahaha, maybe a little much on the metaphor. that's fine, everyone knows I'm comfortable with sexuality.

Yesterday I went to school and dropped off a Mandat de Cash (money order) for social security insurance. I'm basically insured out the wazoo. I have blue cross blue shield at home, that will reimburse hospital stays, I have french social security which can give me intensive care for like 50 bucks, I have ISIC insurance from my student card which also reimburses claims, and soon I will have civil liability insurance which, upon inquiry, I've learned is similar to Home Owner's Insurance. I found out from further inquiry (i'm so damn curious) that this insurance covers any simple damages to another person including staining their clothes, to breaking their leg by accident. This is how I was able to have my parents home owners insurance pay for the broken car mirror that I hit with my bike while i was out several years ago. This is a very useful insurance and I think people should probably take advantage of it more. In France I can get it for 20 euros (25 bucks) and if I damage any French belongings or bodies I can get out scotch free. So I guess I can basically galavant around without care now. J/k.

I don't believe I wrote about the AIESEC meeting. I am a member of AIESEC which is a student org in 100+ countries and I found the one here, and as advertised, the have welcomed me as their own. Their meetings are in Frenglish and they use the same acronyms and everything.. pretty sweet. Ironically enough, the club was started in France and Germany 60 years ago, but the Lyon club only began last year. It consists of 6 execs and some members. THe execs hail from many different backgrounds, including Czech, Kazakhstan (I asked about Borrat, and regretted it instantly b/c apparently it's a over drawn out subject with their country), Slovenia, Tunisa, Chinese, France, and moi. They are doing what we in AIESEC call a PBOX (project based on exchange) in which we search on a social issue and center exchange program for 4-10+ students between two nations. I am hoping to help design the program and to research for the french interests and the ability to send some people to Africa. We'll see.

I made my first friends from the AIESEC group I think and I hope that we will be good friends.

Tuesday night (AIESEC was monday)
I was at home, and I went running. I ran along the river. I think I wrote, there are two rivers, La Rhone and La Saone.

THere is a wonderful pathway along the Rhoane and it runs along as far as I know. At night the city and the old buildings are lit up wonderfully and there are many boats docked along the path. It's placed near the water level and the roads are about 20 feet up on other side, so it is a perfectly hidden little world. Although it was only 25 degrees, it was quite nice. It is also, as most of the city, very very clean. There are little playgrounds, some with slides down from the road to the walkway, benches, soccer courts, little artsy things, it very pleasant.

I got home and ate a frozen pizza, french cuisine of choise!

Today was orientation

I finally discovered the abundance of international students. I guessed about 60 or so. I know of students from Australia, Britian, US, Japan, Mexico, though I'm not sure the others, few people spoke at the meeting. It was run by the international relations crew. Charles Hadley, from Cali, french resident for 35 years. and the administrators. They are all quite friendly and Mr. Hadley has a Mr. Stephens-sense of humor and he kind of sounds like the chief from monk.

I ask him about 12 questions, and runner up I think maybe 5. people know me at least. I didn't make even one joke. I think I must be sick or something...

I spoke with some mexican students in spanish, who I first thought were from spain because of their style and their accents. I heard wrong and thought wrong, they are straight up mexico city. pretty cool. Andres and Valeria.

I met a kid who was friends with someone on my hall last year when I was an RA. Small world, I guess not really. We are on the same program.... in Barcelona I ran into UGAers randomly...

I would have to say that as of now the person I am most eager to hang out with of that crew is Mr. Hadley. To meet other people and make myself a further loudmouth, after this I am making a FB group for all these students so we can converse. Hopefully they will agree it is a good idea, but who knows. I think it depends on the name probably.

These students aren't even from the French class program. Only the students who are taking classes in English.
If you are there for a full year you can get a Bachelors I think, or at least some sort of Certificate. All the French degree students take the same schedule or same path, I think 0 electives. We are quite an anomaly there....

I found that classes are all 3 hours and don't really begin for maybe another week or more. The secret behind existence is a student card. It proves you have the insurance and all.

I walked home with some Americans and an Australian and heard about their apartment woes. the main wow is they pay 500 euro. That is like 625 a month where as I pay 450 maybe. I split off and went to electric company only to be rejected from getting my name on the bills despite my having Moya's ID card and letter explaining the situation. the only part I understood fully were the words "this won't work" and "sorry". but basically I need a letter from some leaser from last year or something. I have no idea...

I need that to get a bank account, which through AIESEC, i can get 40 euros free with BNP! Every cent counts.

ANd tonight I went to help my friend from AIESEC edit is résumé for is AIESEC internship in the US. It took much longer than expected but he bought me a McDonalds burger for 1 euro. The burger here is much sweeter, i think it is the bread. It was tasty. All that worked there were students.

The best thing today is sadly the packet of information I received. It contains all relevant facts to student life here. You can living assistance as a student if you stay here 1 yr or more, and you can get discounted meals. French life is amazingly oriented towards students. There is the bike program for 5 euros a year for 30 min free bike use all year long. There are bike stations by every major area in the city.

You can get bus discounts for 30 euros a month for unlimited rides, 1 hour long transfers across the city, bus, tram, and subway. You can get meals, as I said for 2.50 euros (about 3 bucks), and you can even get meals to go.

And all the insurance you need is maybe 300 bucks. Minimum wage is also 8.25 Euro (over 10 bucks). Life is much more situated to take care of the citizens and especially the students. I am very impressed.

Transportation here is interesting. I have only walked since being here, but I see a lot. The largest cars fit 5, and true luxury is having a trunk. Most should know that SUV's are only for military/government operations here. I haven't seen even one civilian SUV.

Because walking is so important, you see, I think, a truer sampling of society. Older people, disabled people. punks, fancy women. (all women wear boots, I think i said this) and tight jeans. Some people ride bikes, but not many. I have seen maybe 10 privately owned bikes as well.

There are a lot of Razor scooters. Some older women use them here. Like 40 years old. It is kind of funny to see.

Life here is more compartmentalized, but everyone seems to get enough. It is very interesting. It's funny because in the US i always feel like I had TOO much. too much food or space or stuff. Here, because of my situation obviously, but the way of life, you get what you need. I have what I need and little more. If I do something, I get what I need to do it. The trashcans here are small. You buy food in smaller amounts. You have smaller cars and such. Life is not bent about luxury or indulgance or anything. Just laid back doing stuff. Maybe a little more boring, really just more calm. I think it is harder to stand out so much because you have less options. I think that is why everyone also dresses so nice. It is one part of your life that you can really find a difference. People do many of the same things the same way with the same services.

today I got to talk to jessica on video chat it was very strange. to see her moving and hear her but her not be there. I've only done that maybe once before, and never with anyone so meaningful. It was pretty emotional, knowing we are so far apart. it was great. video chat is simply amazing. overwhelming, wonderful.

She got my present today in the mail. A bouquet of sunflowers (her favorite) with a balloon. It is our 4 month mark. Sad i'm not there, but still reason to celebrate. I just realized! I will get to see her on the 1/2 year! That's stupid I know but exciting. we kept talking about how we want to live together and stuff. It's strange to be excited about a long time from now.

Saji and I spoke as well. About living in Europe, economy, and plans. He commented how connected we are despite the atlantic. It is very different than before, and its hard to imagine how and the effects of it. I suppose it would be much harder to maintain relationships. but i prefer it this way, at least right now. if I wanted to ignore the US i could.

I hope Eurozone cuts interest rates so I am richer here...

I'm so tired, peace and love. (especially to you Jessica)

Off to a Nickish start

so today I was supposed to go to the university, that was about I'll I knew. I didn't really know when or why, I just knew to go and find something. I wanted to go at 10am, I think to day was orientation day or something, I really haven't read the emails that they sent me. So I wanted to get at 10am, but I left my headphones plugged into my computer in order to prevent myself from being too much of a type "a" personality. In other words, I subconsciously decided I would rather wake up at 2pm instead of 10am, and therefore I decided without me knowing to leave my headphones in so I wouldn't go that early. Well yay for me, it worked wonderfully.

I got to the university at about 2:30. It is one city block and kind of old-ish looking. But there is a really fancy McDonalds in once corner of it. It looks like a fancy want to be Varsity poking out the side corner. I remembered from the map online what side of the school was the office I was supposed to go to. Well I thought I remembered. I asked about in the general area and was told to wait for 2 hours until the lady I needed returned. I knew that the other woman probably didn't care about or understand what I was asking her and my waiting was probably not the best course of action, I also knew that I was too much of a coward to bother this woman again. So I wondered around like an idiot and eventually asked another obvious. either the French are all jerks or my french is okay because they always talk to me like I know what they are saying. I'm convinced the whole country as decided to play a joke on me. I have taken on a tactical strategy of asking people to write as much down as I can convince them to. A name, an office, perhaps even stepwise instructions. A name is usually the best I got and the first name I got lead me back where I started, waiting.

While waiting I met my first OLIS (other lost international student). Zoharra from Switzerland. Blonde and annoyed she waited patiently. Eventually she asked me in her own mumled french what was going on. One victory I have is that no one identifies me as an American. I suppose here I could take on an identity from some other country. Spain or Australian or perhaps I could pull off Russian. That would be funny. Anyway I asked her questions until i was more bored talking to her than I was waiting. It switched off. I got her story. Eventually Madame Tabaret returned only to shove a s**** of papers at me and point and jabber off about "you missed the meeting" and she used the word "grave" a lot which as you might guess, means serious in english. I guess I didn't do well. Anyway, eventually I was instructed to go see another very busy french woman who liked to speak quickly. But she was much better because she actually knew who I was and what I was suppsoed to be doing. There I met my local brazilian, australian, american, hungarian, and what have you. I still have a great distaste for the majority of brazilian girls I meet abroad. this one seems pretty cool but still had what we call a "tude". whatever. I don't care. That's the best part, no matter how charming or attractive any girl is here, I'm really not interested, so I feel no qualms being as mean to them as they are to me. It's my new favorite hobby. Being mean to rude girls. I think a few of my UGA friends took up this hobby long ago and I have just come to appreciate this semester.

Anyway, I got some stuff straightened out (i think). Long story short I have some paper work to attempt and some money to pay. But my plans are thus

Mondays I attend AIESEC meetings with the local LC or I go to my roommates breakdancing
THe other days of the week I will be playing piano ( i found that I can signup to use one), playing soccer, boxing, or doing judo. I haven't decided whether the language barrier will impair me from learning these things, but I imagine I can fumble through it.
Friday and weekend I will either be traveling or partying hopefully, or someone will be visiting me. THis Sat Moya has a secret santa party, but I am supposed to gift him and vice versa this time.
Sunday I think I am practicing french with an AIESEC member and the other non-frenchies.

so along with class and sleeping and wasting time I'll be pretty busy.

My trips and visits amount to this so far,
I will go see Saji about 1 a month. Is birthday for sure, and again late February. I am trying to convince Merje as well as Rachel to come there that time in Feb. Jessica should come during her spring break for several days, and I will ignore classes as much as possible.
In Feb hopefully Saji will come here once.
I will probably go to Paris to see Melanie Weniger one time, most likely in March when I can speak French better, and Jessica is here again in very late March/April.
I am also in the works of convincing Rami to come some time as well.
And Rachel is coming here maybe.

So every other week should have something interesting happy until the end when I will be finishing class and whatnot.

meanwhile I am struggling to sleep well and establish whatever.

Back by popular demand of many a young man in UGA I dedicate these next lines to Jessica,

Baby you are my love and I love you. No love loves you like I love you, and our love loves lovers like us. please love my love and I'll love you my love, until we have loved our love into truer love. I love you and your love. Love, nick.

beyond this I wanted to tell you how sweet and cuddly you are and how I dream of holding you again, and anyone who doesn't like reading about that can shove it. ( I waited several years to date her and even if i'm not in the country I'm going to stuff myself with warm loving mush until I can take mush no more. )

and yes I know you kissed my girlfriend, but I also hate you so it doesn't matter.
and yes I know about you too, but I also don't care because I am better looking anyway. don't hate ya'll just cause ya'll jealous

anyway, tomorrow I have to do some stuff so I can learn some stuff. I hope it goes well. I'm tired and I'm going to go back to watching x-men in french and making up new lines to replace the ones that I don't understand.

PEACE.

Sunny Day #1

So today I had a few small victories which brought stupid smiles to my face. I guess that is how I am these days. Little things make me smile because I feel so new in this place. Today I woke up to my alarm on my computer, victory number 1. I chose viva la vida from coldplay, the same song I woke up to all semester in UGA, (a little continuity for sanity's sake). I woke up on time and slept a whole night through; victory number 2. I got to talk to jessica as she woke up, and then i lay in bed to think, and continued to hit the snooze several times. Then like a brick wall it hit me how distant I am from the things I love most in this world. why would i leave them? What foolishness is this that I would venture to an unknown place in a little known language to leave those people and places I care for most in the world? What a scary thought, to know I am committed here. This might be the largest time commitment I have made to an action, being here so long, without being able to leave really. Jessica of course is a huge commitment, but it is obviously of much a different nature. I mean I guess choosing to live with her is an equally big commitment, but one I look forward too completely.

I realize the mature thing to do is have all my ducks in a row. I had several wonderful months in UGA where everything was peachy. And now I have several months here where I have things to do. I must get them done. This is a path I have chosen and I will not complain or feel bad. I am committed, for me, my loved ones, jessica, and anyone in the world who wishes to travel, to get what I can out of this and not look back. So I venture forward "hoping" to find what I seek and more. Yes I will miss Jessica, but if that relationship is strong as I believe it is, there is no problem. Much like when Saji is gone, I know we are still best friends, I know that while I am away from Jessica, our lover remains. And I have absolutely no doubt that in end, were something to interrupt our relationship, it could be repaired.

Well enough of that mush for those who don't care.

Other small victories, today there was sun! Yes no clouds and I didn't sleep until sunset. I walked around and saw the sun shining on the river and over the buildings, on people's cold cold faces. and they were cold for it is 30-40 degress plus a horrible wind chill. After being outside for 10 minutes my nose gives me a Rudolf-esque red glow about my face and my ears go numb. I am a fool for not bringing warmer clothes.

I found that my pain tolerance wanes on the side of low to none when it comes to freezing cold weather. God forbid I should ever live up north permanently. Alongside a coat, I am looking to heavily invest in some body fat for it seems I have not had luck finding any past semester. It should seem easy to come across some good old polar bear warmth, but alas, the market it not such that I can take it from the well endowed, rather I must earn it through diligent consumption of oh-so costly "food".

After 1.5 hours of death outside, I encountered the Victory #3. First conversation with a native. the local Epicerie Afghan, basically a small market store, called Afghan for the historical arab owners, now a native word for such places. Epicerie means grocery I've gathered. He commented how cold it was, i agreed and I feigned understanding of his next 3 sentences. Eventually I spattered out, j'ai arrivé il y a deux jours. je suis etudiant american ici pour etudier dans l'universit Jean Moulin. (i came 2 days ago, i'm an america student here to study in jean moulin university). A littlte more chatter, I pretended to understand how much my eggs, apples, and bread costs, and handed him a 10 euros, knowing it would surely be enough. Again, god forbid I let on my lack of understanding of french or I might be overcharged there for the rest of my time.

I went home and encountered small victory #4. I managed to stay awake all day with no nap (most victories have to do with sleep cycle apparently). Then the best and final two, my room mate Moya lent me a coat ( ;) ) and then we went and played, you guessed it, soccer. It was on a small cement sala court by the river. The sun set and the old goverment buildings splayed the slight down to the river and the roller bladers, bike trickers, razor scooterers, and likely pot-smokers hung out at the skate park while I struggled to represent the US in a positive light. I had no idea what was said on the court, as if often the case when I play soccer abroad. to much slang and such. I am definitly sure of the word peutont ( i think it is spelled ) which means bitch of fuck. I scored a bit but i was rusty. the enemy was tricky and had lots of turns in them. It was fun and a walk back i learned more of the mysterious Moya.

Born in Republic of Congo, came here age 5. Breakdance teacher, MBA student, former young soccer star. Line up ladies, he's single. Hell, if the things go right, maybe I'll take a shot.

J/k

For now I'm decoding Val Kilmer, Robert DeNiro and others in a French version of Heat. Of course the subtitles are based on the english audio and the french audio is altered, so no real way to keep up with both.

For now, I keep looking for small victories. Tomorrow we will see if my blunders from last november mean that contrary to my hopes, I have actually failed to enroll at the university here and will have to improv my way in. Tomorrow night I attend Moya's breakdancing club, maybe I can make some friends.

you never miss something so badly until you don't have it. Well for the past 3 years I have seldom been short of friends. It's a pain to establish myself no doubt. We'll see what I'm up against. i think if I can manage to wake up on time and have caffeine I'll be alright. I have suspicious that caffeine and alcohol may sadly be the secrets to my first comedic encounters which are so important to making friends. Or I could just not sleep at all, that does the trick as well.

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I am back in my room on my computer, like I have been so much for the past several days. Questioning my true motives on everything and hoping those who believe in me are right, because when your victories are so small, it is hard to believe that you are a winner. But perhaps that is the lesson I will learn the most while I am here. In european life winners and losers are not so important as enjoying the game. So for lesson for today is, enjoy the game, no matter the outcome. I'll do my best.

Peace and love, write you soon.

a video of my apartment a pics soon

click here to see crappy video tour of my apartment I just woke up and I talked funny for some reason. and my camera sucks..

The New Year, The New Land, The Old Travels

My journey has begun with a many memories of home shoved together.  First I left school, packed my apartment and my life away from this semester along with it.  I was at home and I watched my family clean ferociously (I engaged a little) and I celebrated christmas.  This was the last full day in my house or in any familiar place for a while to come.  Then one night in Athens before Jessica and I headed to Missouri.  This 10 hour car trip quickly became 14 with the untimely failure of my alternator belt and the reign of angry wind and rain that attempted to discourage our journey through Illinois.  

We arrived at the hotel and the next several days were a mix of excitement and happiness to be with AIESEC and much confusion and sadness knowing that I had only a few days left in with my love.  I did my best to not steal her away from her passion for AIESEC, but at times it was hard not to complain or tug her shirt for a private moment to be with her.  

Our ride home was mundane save for the most beautiful driving sunrise I have seen.  Once again, having jessica in my arms and the mountains, trees, lakes, and beautiful sky all around me left my face with a few streaks of salt-watery happi/saddness.  I dropped Jessica off and had a couple hours to reflect.  Most were spent in silent stares and muted tears, with a small nap.  I left her standing on the stairs and I for once was not the once crying.  I did my best to inspire Jessica with hope and leave her all my very bet wishes and confidence, and I whispered in her ear of all the great times past and future that we have to share together. our future in the apartment in august seems far off, but the idea of it radiates a warmth that I swear feels like it is coming tomorrow.  I think this idea, and seeing her in general, will be like the treat hanging in front of my face for several months.  always just out of reach but oh so tantalizing.  i need that treat there. ( it will help me be strong, though at times it will bother me more than anything i think.... )

With this I drove off to my family and friends in Atlanta.  At home my parents and most my siblings, (frankie had missed her chance to come by) and nick and Saji all awaited me at home.  there was a hectic moment of goodbyes and once again I found myself headed to an airport with Nick and Saji, though this time, they didn't come with. 

The car ride was riddled with high school immaturity and comments that could make ron jeremy blush.  (maybe not)  but it left with me a fond reminder of why these two young men are easily my most important friends and funniest cohorts.  

the plane to london, the trains across it, the plan to lyon, and the bus, taxi to my apartment came and left with little left to comment or remember, for most of the time I was in a mental/emotional/physical stupor.  thoughts of jessica and my future ran through me much like the train ran through the underground of london.  it was an unfamiliar place in my mind but i knew it was always running, somewhere.  these thoughts of love and hope and my future and my goals.  sometimes it takes a trip like this to strip us down to our true nature.  i remember my feelings of the central america trip, what it did to me, to see so much and be in such a different world. 

i did meet one man from South Africa in a resteraunt in Heathrow.  Derek Govender.  Very nice and energetic.  Disney cruise chef of Indian descent.  He has an email account from google and I am supposed to contact him soon.  I believe I may have made a friend in Durbin, South Africa should I attempt to go to the world cup in 2010.  that is very convenient.  We talked in length about his life on the cruise and America in general.  

I slept for 14 hours and began to arrange my life in the past day.  I've been here for almost 30 hours or so.  I've contacted Jessica a lot and reached my family and friends via Skype.  (it is ridiculously amazing)  and I got some money.  

My room mate Moya is a black frenchmen, MBA student.  very active and nice.  Likes to skii and play soccer.  I believe we might head off to london or a ski trip together in the coming weeks.  He may be gone for an internship in March leaving me to the apartment by myself.  Hopefully by then i will be adjusted and ready for life here alone.  I am lucky for I don't think I could have found a kinder room mate.  He has friend over tonight and I was very embarrased I couldn't really communicate with her.  I think she was embarrassed as well so it's okay I think.  Tomorrow Moya is away skiing with her I think, so I'll be in here alone. 

The apartment is great.  I will post picture or a movie soon. of my neighborhood.  the address is 54 rue de lac, lyon, france 69003.  it's easy to find on google maps. you can see the area as well.  this isn't the pretty part of lyon I think, but I will explore that more this weekend.  

I've almost got myself setup.  I just need a bank account and a cell phone.  I need to do a budget and plan out stuff with jessica and saji.  I have to decide my priorities for school and french and traveling and this summer.  there is a lot to do.

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Some travelers notes. 

I remembered today how european culture feels more relaxed.  things aren't as in your face here.  things don't HAVE to get done.  they need to get done but the sense of urgency is much less.  there is a lot of walking and biking and buses.  it is much more relaxed in that way too.  Things are smaller and only big enough to do what they need to do.  it all fits with the european mindset.  it is okay to grow up and do something but you don't have to be a rockstar or anything.  work hard, do your stuff, have your life and enjoy it.  that is the sense you get when you are here.  even sexuality seems relaxed.  I remembered today how they breasts on TV when I saw them.  I feel like it is just presented how it is, without crazy emphasis like in US.  things are very different in small ways, and it changes your daily life in small ways, but I think it is what separates europe from US. 

on the bus into Lyon the first thing I heard was some east coast rap.  I don't know the artists.  I think it was lollipop or something.  that was the first music I heard here. just like a bar in athens.  it's ridiculous.  we export so much media.  

they have bike stations here.  for like 7 dollars a year you can borrow bikes 15 minutes at a time and you can put it back and take it out immediately with no charge.  if you need it longer it is 20 cents for like 10 minutes.  it's awesome.  to encourage less driving and stuff.  

someone asked me for directions.  I felt so dumb.  i need to get on serious review mode.  i will do a little tonight but my brain and body are still very confused so it will not be so easy.  i don't know where to start!!!

peace and love til later.