Sunny Day #1

So today I had a few small victories which brought stupid smiles to my face. I guess that is how I am these days. Little things make me smile because I feel so new in this place. Today I woke up to my alarm on my computer, victory number 1. I chose viva la vida from coldplay, the same song I woke up to all semester in UGA, (a little continuity for sanity's sake). I woke up on time and slept a whole night through; victory number 2. I got to talk to jessica as she woke up, and then i lay in bed to think, and continued to hit the snooze several times. Then like a brick wall it hit me how distant I am from the things I love most in this world. why would i leave them? What foolishness is this that I would venture to an unknown place in a little known language to leave those people and places I care for most in the world? What a scary thought, to know I am committed here. This might be the largest time commitment I have made to an action, being here so long, without being able to leave really. Jessica of course is a huge commitment, but it is obviously of much a different nature. I mean I guess choosing to live with her is an equally big commitment, but one I look forward too completely.

I realize the mature thing to do is have all my ducks in a row. I had several wonderful months in UGA where everything was peachy. And now I have several months here where I have things to do. I must get them done. This is a path I have chosen and I will not complain or feel bad. I am committed, for me, my loved ones, jessica, and anyone in the world who wishes to travel, to get what I can out of this and not look back. So I venture forward "hoping" to find what I seek and more. Yes I will miss Jessica, but if that relationship is strong as I believe it is, there is no problem. Much like when Saji is gone, I know we are still best friends, I know that while I am away from Jessica, our lover remains. And I have absolutely no doubt that in end, were something to interrupt our relationship, it could be repaired.

Well enough of that mush for those who don't care.

Other small victories, today there was sun! Yes no clouds and I didn't sleep until sunset. I walked around and saw the sun shining on the river and over the buildings, on people's cold cold faces. and they were cold for it is 30-40 degress plus a horrible wind chill. After being outside for 10 minutes my nose gives me a Rudolf-esque red glow about my face and my ears go numb. I am a fool for not bringing warmer clothes.

I found that my pain tolerance wanes on the side of low to none when it comes to freezing cold weather. God forbid I should ever live up north permanently. Alongside a coat, I am looking to heavily invest in some body fat for it seems I have not had luck finding any past semester. It should seem easy to come across some good old polar bear warmth, but alas, the market it not such that I can take it from the well endowed, rather I must earn it through diligent consumption of oh-so costly "food".

After 1.5 hours of death outside, I encountered the Victory #3. First conversation with a native. the local Epicerie Afghan, basically a small market store, called Afghan for the historical arab owners, now a native word for such places. Epicerie means grocery I've gathered. He commented how cold it was, i agreed and I feigned understanding of his next 3 sentences. Eventually I spattered out, j'ai arrivé il y a deux jours. je suis etudiant american ici pour etudier dans l'universit Jean Moulin. (i came 2 days ago, i'm an america student here to study in jean moulin university). A littlte more chatter, I pretended to understand how much my eggs, apples, and bread costs, and handed him a 10 euros, knowing it would surely be enough. Again, god forbid I let on my lack of understanding of french or I might be overcharged there for the rest of my time.

I went home and encountered small victory #4. I managed to stay awake all day with no nap (most victories have to do with sleep cycle apparently). Then the best and final two, my room mate Moya lent me a coat ( ;) ) and then we went and played, you guessed it, soccer. It was on a small cement sala court by the river. The sun set and the old goverment buildings splayed the slight down to the river and the roller bladers, bike trickers, razor scooterers, and likely pot-smokers hung out at the skate park while I struggled to represent the US in a positive light. I had no idea what was said on the court, as if often the case when I play soccer abroad. to much slang and such. I am definitly sure of the word peutont ( i think it is spelled ) which means bitch of fuck. I scored a bit but i was rusty. the enemy was tricky and had lots of turns in them. It was fun and a walk back i learned more of the mysterious Moya.

Born in Republic of Congo, came here age 5. Breakdance teacher, MBA student, former young soccer star. Line up ladies, he's single. Hell, if the things go right, maybe I'll take a shot.

J/k

For now I'm decoding Val Kilmer, Robert DeNiro and others in a French version of Heat. Of course the subtitles are based on the english audio and the french audio is altered, so no real way to keep up with both.

For now, I keep looking for small victories. Tomorrow we will see if my blunders from last november mean that contrary to my hopes, I have actually failed to enroll at the university here and will have to improv my way in. Tomorrow night I attend Moya's breakdancing club, maybe I can make some friends.

you never miss something so badly until you don't have it. Well for the past 3 years I have seldom been short of friends. It's a pain to establish myself no doubt. We'll see what I'm up against. i think if I can manage to wake up on time and have caffeine I'll be alright. I have suspicious that caffeine and alcohol may sadly be the secrets to my first comedic encounters which are so important to making friends. Or I could just not sleep at all, that does the trick as well.

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I am back in my room on my computer, like I have been so much for the past several days. Questioning my true motives on everything and hoping those who believe in me are right, because when your victories are so small, it is hard to believe that you are a winner. But perhaps that is the lesson I will learn the most while I am here. In european life winners and losers are not so important as enjoying the game. So for lesson for today is, enjoy the game, no matter the outcome. I'll do my best.

Peace and love, write you soon.